Author: Chelsea Gierymski

Yes, You Could Get a DWI on a Barbie Jeep

Tara Monroe is a college student in Texas who has gained some notoriety for her response to a DWI arrest in March. Monroe, whose “license was automatically suspended after [she refused] a breathalyzer test after a Waka Flocka concert,” then had to find some other way to get around. She has a bike, but “[r]iding a bike around campus sucks,” she noted. “Like, really sucks,” she added. Both photos via Twitter So, after considering her options, she spent $60 on a tiny pink electric-powered Barbie Jeep (right). Since then, the report says, she has rolled around campus “leaving a trail...

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Bad Places to Hide: Island in Alligator-Infested Lake

I don’t have a separate category for this, at least not yet. But “lake” would be high on the list, that’s for sure. One problem is that you, the criminal, are almost certainly going to be less mobile in the water than the authorities will be. If they don’t have a speedboat or helicopter with them, they can get one, while you, the criminal, will be stuck with whatever you’ve got. So if attempted hiding turns into attempted fleeing, as it so often does, you’ll be at a major disadvantage. See, e.g., “Sinking Pedal Boat Ends Ridiculous Escape Attempt” (Jan. 28, 2010). A...

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Crime-Lab Chemist Was High While Testifying in Drug Cases

The War on Drugs is going great, you guys, especially in Massachusetts. As you may recall, there were some issues a while back with a few tests run by crime-lab chemist Annie Dookhan, and by “issues” I mean she was just making up the results and by “a few” I mean thousands. See “State’s Chemist Admits ‘Testing’ Drug Samples by Looking at Them” (Oct. 1, 2012). She went to prison in 2013, joining some of the 20,000-40,000 she helped put there. Apparently nobody really knows how many cases she tainted, and prosecutors have argued that figuring it out is not really their responsibility. So this is...

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Napping Fan Sues ESPN and MLB for Allegedly Mocking Him

He is only the latest in a very long line of individuals who cannot understand that filing a lawsuit will not reduce the mockery level. The Smoking Gun has a copy of the poorly written complaint (which seeks $10 million in damages) and the video clip pictured above. The plaintiff claims he was subjected to an “unending verbal crusade” by the ESPN announcers, but actually most of the alleged comments appear to have been posted by individuals at Major League Baseball’s site. He is also suing the Yankees, for a reason that is not explained in the complaint but,...

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